The word cloud produced during the discussion:
Book titles mentioned in the discussion or in the chat:
Below is a copy of the conversations happening in the chat box during the session:
16:24:41 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : Roshila. c-19 coalition.
16:24:53 From R-Cubed to Everyone : Breakout Question: Why are you here? Why are you on the course?
16:32:27 From Michal Friedman to Everyone : Its the first time I’ve heard of such a course with this precise title- and felt intrigued to learn more. I also first heard about Steve Wineman’s book many years ago and have found it very helpful so am keen to ‘meet’ him in pereson
16:34:11 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : I’m interested in knowing how men see themselves and other men and women. and why. also how men feel. I can’t believe they must feel good if they’re violent
16:36:34 From patrick schuster to Everyone : Apologies all, for my lateness
16:37:14 From Nuruh Davids to Everyone : cant hear you, Princess
16:38:03 From Fadia Gamieldien to Everyone : I’m raising a son, I live on the Cape Flats and I’ve worked with men and women but I am interested in how we live together. I’m also doing research with men living with severe mental illness
16:40:21 From Heidi Schutter to Everyone : My internet connection is making my audio delayed. I am from an organisation called People4impact in Bellville South and Reflection Academy in Parow. I am a life coach, trauma counsellor, children’s facilitator, entrepreneur and community activist as well as a parent. I am learning more about this topic of toxic masculinity as I was abused by my boyfriend and been afraid of relationships ever since.
16:40:40 From Erica Jacobs to Everyone : Hi from New World Foundation again. I am Kim. we are dealing with a number of related topics such as the absent male role model and GBV and Gangsterism which is a male dominated platform in our work.
16:41:13 From Erica Jacobs to Everyone : I am also interested in this topic on a personal level.
16:43:55 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : lost you Judy
16:44:49 From Erica Jacobs to Everyone : please can you read out the chat messages
16:44:53 From Raserola Mashamaite to Everyone : we need to force government to include GBV in primary and secondary curriculum
16:46:10 From Nuruh Davids to Everyone : Nuruh: am intrigued by this topic too; in addition to recently being appointed as the Rural Gender Forum Rep in the WCGH (Western Cape Gov Health Dept), with predominantly female employees…personally, am a single parent of a young adult male…
16:47:09 From Michal Friedman to Everyone : It sounds like Grant is saying Covid depression, but I think he is meaning covert depression. Not sure if anyone else is wondering about this
16:49:17 From John Cloete to Everyone : Sorry unfortunately have to leave. Trust there will be a summary of today’s session. tx
16:49:26 From Michal Friedman to Everyone : Wow, that’s quite a thought. Violence is a form of medication. Mind-blowing idea.
16:49:50 From Grant Stewart to Everyone : yes I do mean covert depression
16:51:59 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : Heraclitus—war is the father of us all.
16:55:59 From Lea-Anne Moses to Everyone : We need to talk about and address/heal historical trauma in the GBV conversation. Oppression from decades ago is written in our DNA and unless acknowledged will only perpetuate the cycle.
17:02:06 From eldred to Everyone : There is also a phenomena as (some) of us, and men in particular having an appetite for violence. So yes, I agree that we also do violence unto ourselves. We then also learn that there is a utility to violence.
17:03:21 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : it is also true that (some) people are violence. become violence.
17:05:32 From Charmaine to Everyone : in our women’s group we often hear that men compare their female partners to their mothers. It as if mother figures perpetuate the violence as they seem to collude with toxic masculinity
17:06:55 From Heidi Schutter to Everyone : As a life coach working with various people, I hear different stories of GBV from people on very different social and economic spaces. White clients talking to me of a feeling the loss of power and black clients with a feeling of never having power. I have millennial clients (age 23-32) who are self centered and narcisistic feeling entitled and upset when not getting their way.
17:09:11 From Heidi Schutter to Everyone : Yet these issues can be experienced by any person regardless of age, race or gender
17:10:37 From Princess Majola to Everyone : Does this mean that men can’t actually breakaway /heal from traumatic experiences and behaviour which they got accustomed to while growing up and by bottling it up inside they actually explode and vent it out to a weaker /inferior human being irrespective of them being female or male
17:14:57 From Heidi Schutter to Everyone : I have come across a toxic masculine personality between lesbian couples as a character role depicted by a more aggressive partner in that relationship. Very interesting for me.
17:16:58 From Michal Friedman to Everyone : I’ve seen this too Heidi. Explained to me either as that’s the only role model we’ve seen and/or, it’s the only way we can ‘protect’ ourselves in the face of the aggression against us
17:24:00 From Princess Majola to Everyone : When I experienced this Heidi amongst my lesbian friends and I questioned the behaviour , the response I got was that inside every woman there’s few male hormones and if male hormones are dominating in a woman, the woman will be aggressive and masculine
17:29:25 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : May I respond/converse to Eldred please?
17:31:59 From Michal Friedman to Everyone : Interesting Princess, that leaves it as a biological explanation rather than a socially constructed or ‘trauma history’ explanation like we’re discussing here today.
17:33:11 From eldred to Everyone : Absolutely Roshila and in my language I speak of ascribed, chosen and fluidity of identity.
17:34:03 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : I self identify as …. it’s quite powerful to give people that freedom. it’s real power.
17:38:27 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : social character—the character of the nature/group and the systems they produce—will allow or block identity evolution/revolution
17:44:05 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : sure. I wanted to share a pivotal book I read
17:45:11 From Grant Stewart to Everyone : thanks Roshila, would you like to add it to the chat?
17:45:16 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : I’m lost.
17:45:25 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : can I just type here?
17:45:47 From R-Cubed to Everyone : go to www.menti.com and insert the code 42704401 to answer the question
17:46:06 From Raserola Mashamaite to Everyone : thanks for this link
17:54:23 From Judy Kennedy to R-Cubed(Direct Message) : state violence
17:56:22 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : Victor Frankl Man’s Search for the Meaning of Life
17:56:44 From Fadia Gamieldien to Everyone : Will to Change – bell hooks
17:57:48 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : it’s great we’ve begun the conversation. it already feels valuable
17:58:12 From Mike R-Cubed Cape Town to Everyone : thank you everyone for attending supporting and discussing with us this afternoon….
17:58:17 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : lots of cdes messaged to say network challenges
17:58:20 From Tauriq Jenkins to Everyone : Thank you everyone
17:58:42 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : 🙏🌸❤️Everyone
17:58:53 From Steve Wineman to Everyone : Terrific conversation. Thanks so much to everyone who spoke.
17:58:58 From Princess Majola to Everyone : Thanks 👏 so much for the informative journey I’ve been invited to and I’m excited to learn more
17:59:07 From Leroy De Klerk to Everyone : I’m sitting with gratitude for the people consciousness in this discussion.
17:59:16 From Charmaine to Everyone : Thank you it opens the mind to more thinking..lots to marinate on!
17:59:18 From Lea-Anne Moses to Everyone : Thanks all
18:00:04 From Nuruh Davids to Everyone : Thank You so much for this exposure and inputs
18:00:05 From Fadia Gamieldien to Everyone : Are we using the same link every week?
18:00:17 From Roshila Nair to Everyone : what’s the best is we’re feeling our way through this. that rocks!
18:00:30 From Fadia Gamieldien to Everyone : perfect
18:00:34 From Michal Friedman to Everyone : Thanks everyone. It’s great to be part of this conversation
18:00:38 From Judy Kennedy to Everyone : thank you everyone looking forward the next conversations
18:00:54 From eldred to Everyone : Thank you kindly everyone
18:01:00 From Erica Jacobs to Everyone : Thanks from NWF